I CAN MOONWALK!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize