This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
