i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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