Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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