i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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