so explain again why im purple
no
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
