sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
