I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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