So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
