i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
