yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
