would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
