Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
