even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize