I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
