What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
