I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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