you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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