Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
