my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
