I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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