He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
