i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
