I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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