I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
