he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize