rhymes with "ouble enetration"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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