Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
