My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
