How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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