you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
