You made me cry and you don't even care
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I will be naked everywhere
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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