If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
