what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
