The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
