Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
