i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
