Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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