I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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