i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
