Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.

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(513): View more from Ohio

some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving

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(206): View more from Washington

ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer

(818): View more from California

oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good

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(714): View more from California

Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros

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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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(805): View more from California

I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop

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(845): View more from New York

man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...

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