just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize