There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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