Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....