i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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