I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
