I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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