Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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