Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
