:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
