you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wish my penis had a tongue
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
