i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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