I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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