3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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