PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
