Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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