i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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