Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
