im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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