yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
